Sunday, January 11, 2009

Of Deep Impacts.

The people that come across you and that you don't take enough time to get to know:
-He was a blind man in his 60's. He used to come in every Thursday for lunch, he sat at the same table, ordered the same thing every single time: a roast beef sandwich. How did he come alone? Why every Thursday? How does he go about his life? What has become of him by now?
-She was sincerely one of my best friends, a woman who left so much impact on me. A woman whose life is so different from mine and yet we got so close. She was also in her 60's, she grew up in hippie America, she was quite the wild child in her days, she then married a N.Y. firefighter. She eventually found him lying in their bathroom, dead of a heart attack. She had so many stories, so much that she'd been through, the good, the bad and the ugly. Her daughter was once as lucky as it gets, then she was diagnosed with Behcet's (an autoimmune disease), and she fights it to the day, unemployed, unmarried, unsure of her future. Her nephew died in 9/11, he was a firefighter too. So much more to tell about this wonderful woman, how she kept her optimism, how she was still a mix of the wildchild and the sweet grandmother. And to the day I wonder what has become of her, there were the sustained emails at first, and then nothing.

-She was married to a mob boss in NY. She was also in her 70's-80's, it seems the older you get the more interesting your life is. She used to play with my necklace and tell me how pretty it was. She was the sweetest woman I've met and yet I've heard so much about how mistreated she was by her late husband, although to the rest of the people she was seemingly leading the pampered high class NY lifestyle. She eventually died. She was my first patient to die. Albeit of natural causes. The first thing to do was to make sure we had her DO NOT RESUSCITATE order on file. As if it was business as usual.
-He was 65. Newly retired. It seems he had enough of corporate America and so he decided to finally kick back and relax. He showed me his business card. On a Hawaiian themed background he had written down every single activity and "profession" he was able to do. (ranging from striptease to accounting). It was meant as a joke. I didn't laugh at the time. I thought he was a tad obnoxious. Had I seen it from his point of view. There was a man, who worked all his life, who was finally content with what he had achieved and now was the time to relax, and laugh at it all. Kudos.
-He was 25. I was never too close to him, thinking he was too different from me. Different lifestyle, different interests... He then enrolled in the Lebanese Army. He died while serving in Nahr Al Bared. The summer 2007 war against palestinian extremists in the North of Lebanon.
-She was 18. We used to dance ballet together. We never got close, again because of our different likes and dislikes. Then one day she actually collapses in front of me. She eventually goes into a coma that she doesn't come out of. My first experience with death.
And so many more stories to remember, so many people that you come across. And with each and everyday you understand even more how you will never understand enough. This world is too wide to grasp, too rich with stories and people, and everyone has something to say. This is mainly the reason why I metamorphosed from a spoiled brat into a love-all, accept-all persona. And that no matter how much I learn about life, there's so much more, so much more. How will I ever come to term with life? How will I ever think that I know it all? Should I search for this feeling at all? Is it like "A la recherche du temps perdu"? Or should I just feel content with what I have? At least, I now know that each and every one has been through something interesting in life, each and every one is a good person in their own way and your perception of them will only depend on your specific interactions with them. Sometimes circumstances will not allow you to really get to know someone, sometimes circumstances will actually make you hate that someone, but just think for a second, how much more there is to this world and to its people. How interesting can your own life get with all these encounters!! To the people mentioned and to many more that I remember once in a while, I wish I got to know you better. I wish I was able to get the most out of these cherished moments that will never be again.